Cashmere and Crinoline: Taking Inventory

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Ladies and gentlemen: Today, I am a living Matryoshka doll. It is presently somewhere around 15 degrees here in the city, a temperature that most people out there would consider Pretty Damned Cold, but I (and likely most other Floridians) consider the Most Unnatural and Awful Thing Ever. We tend to cower in the midst of temperature forecasts that dip below 60 degrees. Seriously, when I first got to college in Delaware and the temperature high for the day was first listed as 57 degrees I became intensely horrified and begged everyone to tell me that it would be ok to wear my full-on winter coat. They told me it wasn’t and said that it would in fact be getting even colder soon. I wanted to die. (I can get verification of this if you don’t believe me)…

Now, I have grown extensively since this time period about 6 and a half years ago(all I have to say is: Beijing in January; never been so cold IN MY LIFE) and now can generally bear standard wintry weather of 30 or so degrees. I’ll cringe when it goes below. But. These past few days I’ve voluntarily hibernated in my little apartment terrified that I would turn into an icicle should I venture out in the 15-degrees-but-feels-like-four (FOUR!) great outdoors. I hover around my roommate when she walks in and text friends asking them to tell me just-how-
terrible(!)-it-is-out-there. Out There. I’m sure I’m annoying. I apologize profusely for my cold-weather angst and kvetching. I apologize for all of us Floridians out there bitching about how heinously and unnaturally cold it is. We’re a pain, I know.

Today I decided to brave the elements and run out to get some coffee and groceries (cabin fever was setting in!). It took me a while to talk myself into it, and probably thirty minutes to get dressed. Go ahead and laugh at me but to go outside I wore:

Tights
Knee High Socks
Jeans
Thigh High Leg Warmers
Crinoline (all that nylon-y fluff is a lovely cold deterrent)
Skirt (over the crinoline)
Long Sleeve Thermal Shirt
Cashmere Sweater
Wool Cardigan
Wool Sweater Coat
Wool Coat
Scarf
Hat
Boots
and Gloves.

That’s 15 articles of clothing right there (you can see about 7 in that picture up there..). You might think I’m crazy (especially because I packed another cashmere cardigan into my bag just-in-case). And it’s true, I very well might be. But. I walked outside and didn’t feel a thing. I laughed gleefully. And then my face started to hurt.

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